Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
