No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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