Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
