4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
kristin has been a bad kristin
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
