I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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