I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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