rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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