I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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