508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The adults are the big ones right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
