I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
