and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
