Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
