I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
