laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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