did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
