why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Farmville is her only friend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
