Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize