She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
