My underwear smells like fireworks.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
