We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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