For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
