My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
