just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
