forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
