Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
