We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
