he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
