Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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