just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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