me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
should my penis look like a turkey
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize