i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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