Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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