The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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