i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
People in love make me want to vomit
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
