im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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