He had one of those small greek statue penises
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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