so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
