one might say we're banned from that church
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
