he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
