I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
