i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
