he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Two words: blizzard sex
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
