My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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