If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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