coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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