i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
