Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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