11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
