Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
