or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
