I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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