Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
