If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
