There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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