I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
