Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
