so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
