I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I could fuck to npr.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
