its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
