Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize