Your dad touched me again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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