i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
