so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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