So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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