He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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