I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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