My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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