Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
