Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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