the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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