At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
