i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
