You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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