Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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