can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
