Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
