doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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