dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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